When our children return to school…

What will we teach them?

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Here’s what children need to know:

· Inciting insurrection is OK. (Insurrection itself is bad, but if you can motivate a bunch of boobs to do it for you, that’s fine.)

· Folks living in urban centers are not real Americans.

· It’s OK to form political opinions without taking the trouble to examine facts. Although documents like the U.S. Constitution are publicly available, don’t bother to read them. Instead, just listen to the people who share your beliefs.

· Congress is a joke, and this fact represents an opportunity for young people. A large number of the members of that supposedly austere body are cowards and hypocrites, espousing falsities that they know are untrue but that weak minds will believe. They will distort and abuse the rules for personal gain while more moral members will honor and be guided by what the rules stand for. The abusers will win most of the time. If you want to run for Congress when you grow up, learn to cheat.

· Oaths and promises are meant to be broken as long as you have a viable excuse.

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· An impeachment trial is different from a legal trial in that participants do not need to be honest. Their oaths to judge fairly are meaningless — just for show. Procedural rules must be obeyed, but beyond that, participants can lie and obfuscate to their heart’s content without threat of consequences.

· It is OK for a Congressional Representative to advocate the assassination of federal officials as long as she doesn’t serve on any committees.

· The U.S. president is above the law; there is no line he/she cannot cross.

· Impeachment is no longer a means by which Congress can protect the country against a corrupt president. It probably never was.

· Obstruction of justice is legal. Trump’s first impeachment is precedent.

· The U.S. Republic is not “of, by or even for” the People but for a discrete set of oligarchs. The People be damned. When choosing a career, consider Oligarch.

· The plaque at the Statue of Liberty that says, “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses, yearning to breathe free…” is no longer a valid assertion of American values, and “ferners” should not be given the impression that it is an invitation to asylum in America.

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· You cannot trust the American electoral system. The former president and many representatives in Congress have “proven,” magically and without evidence, that the system is rife with fraud. The only sure way to choose leaders is by combat. We need fewer gun laws and greater proliferation of guns.

· If you can pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, you don’t need to worry about the Republic for which that flag stands. Don’t dare burn a flag, but you’re allowed — even encouraged — to rip the Constitution to shreds.

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· The current president of the United States is illegitimate. (The election was stolen.)

· It’s OK for a presidential candidate to secure the cooperation of a foreign power in order to smear a prospective opposing candidate. Extortion is OK, and the U.S. Constitution is wrong to consider bribery and treason as high crimes.

· It’s OK for a president to threaten a State official in an attempt to steal votes.

· Lying in Congress is OK if that’s what you need to win.

· Loyalty to your Party is more important than morality or loyalty to one’s country. Winning is everything.

· Might makes right; money talks. The rich choose candidates and then spend huge amounts of money to get the riff-raff to agree. Once in office, the winners can claim that the government is spending too much money on silly things like feeding impoverished children, curing disease, improving roads, preventing damage to the environment, fostering education, etc.

· An authoritarian and nationalistic right-wing system of government and social organization known as Fascism is alive and well in America.

· American democracy is broken, and it’s not an easy fix.

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It’s really unnecessary for children to go back to school to learn the lessons above. They see it in the news and on the internet, and almost 74 million Americans uphold these lessons through the examples they set.

Our children need to go back to school, but they also need our parental guidance. In a Winnie the Pooh cartoon of Pooh holding hands with Piglet walking down a country lane, Piglet asks, “If they didn’t convict him, does that mean he’s innocent?” Pooh replies, “No, Piglet… it means they’re all guilty.”